sexyfitarmychick:

I will never understand why stripping is seen as degrading.

Like…the job description is literally “I am so hot that you could never get me in real life so you’re going to have to pay me to dance for you.”

????

(via g0ldnvibe)

gaaraofsburbia:

applecranberry:

ruraljackdaw:

thetowndrugdealer:

*sucks guys dick*
*dies of nut allergy*

did you know that proteins in brazil nuts can be transmitted sexually so if someone had an allergy and the guy had eaten brazil nuts then they could literally suck dick and die of a nut allergy

now I do

(Source: thetowndrugdealer, via ah-shiyt)

"Be careful who you call your friends. I’d rather have 4 quarters than 100 pennies"

Al Capone  (via hefuckin)

This has been my favorite quote since 9th grade

(via sassafranski)

(Source: feellng, via txlover)

Anonymous asked:
My boyfriend & I usually have sex on the floor behind his bed so when you walk in you can only see the bed. And we were having sex one day & I was on top and his mom walks in and she can't see him but she can see me with my shirt on, and she's asking me where he is and I'm sitting on his dick & he's on the bottom trying not to laugh and moving around to make me make faces. And we were talking for like 15 minutes while I was sitting on his dick and having pleasant talk with his mom. NEVER AGAIN.

mawyer:

When you’re doing dishes and you put a spoon under the running tap

image

(via stabs)

tvspecial:

*president voice* 1 2 3 4 i declare a nuclear war

(Source: whiteboyfriend, via stabs)

mrcraabs:

why the fuck cant i have a best friend who lives 30 seconds away from me who always comes over and we just stay at each others houses whenever movies are so deceiving

(Source: qatu, via ah-shiyt)

benwinstagram:

why has everything been better since four got announced

(via louissoulmate)

bead-bead:

ohaiitsarielle:

novakian:

rhett-the-jet:

The next time there’s an awkward silence, try whispering, “Did you forget your line?”

image

I ADORE THIS.  

(via ah-shiyt)

grandegarlic:

loveandddrevenge:

amphetaheroin:

thepondsaregone:

thorinoakenbutt:

castielandpie:

poryqon:

it bothers me that Kansas and Arkansas are not pronounced the same

I’m from the UK and I have been pronouncing Arkansas as Ar-Kansas my whole life

For all my non-american friends, Arkansas is pronounced ark-an-saw

WHAT

WHAT

I’m laughing

what

(via niamliveslarryloves)